My fan

Let me introduce you to my first fan.
I spent like 40 minutes drawing this stupid fan on illustrator CS3.
40 minutes can, how noob can i be =-=. My excuse is that i was trying different styles to suit my theme.

Nippon theme ;D.
if you can >< see i drew 4 inverted rising suns. based on the japanese flag.

The fan is only a small part of my mandala.
I have to draw three -_-.


erm okay. currently its crap. still brainstorming. actually no, i'm having a what you call ... creativity block? o-o, that's why i'm here blogging right now.

What's funny is that, i know that i am dirty when doing work in real life, but i didn't know i could be so virtually messy as well. okay it's not funny after all.


another one that i did.
look at the blue thing at the bottom, that's my lousy attempt at drawing a cloud=-=. i gave up soon after.


The first picture i loved was the fan's~ and in this picture i love the fishes, and among the small fishes there's a big fish.


on a totally random note, i just got this book hopefully it will arrive this friday =D. Based on the true crime story on the theft of the $72 million masterpiece by Edvard Munch, 'the scream'.


;D lol.

15 pieces of pan fried pork dumplings, ma po tofu?, mandarin porkchop, shanghai fried noodles(i love).

This past two days =0=, have been over indulging. Full to the brim -_-, until you just want to overflow. Have to stop this. stopped.

Saturday was a full day as well.
Don't know what to comment about the mamma mia! movie. Corny, spontaneous, nostalgic, funny, hot old men, hyper-activer old ladies? and many sing-along moments!.

memo: greenbag, sars, train full of angmoh, oats&milk, constipated, cold 10, shisha, dubai.

Breeze

breeze

Moments when i feel like running away from this abundant city i crank up the volume while listening to japanese electronic pop. Deafening as it may seem, i feel more safe this way :\. I am confused, depressed from what? i can't even think of a diverging excuse.

I dream of releasing a loud roar of pain, confusion and frustration where i stand overlooking the city skyline with a couple of friends who feel the same way. Struggling to know who i am, well i don't know
... the perks of being a youth. hah.

Sometimes i try to suppress those feelings by immersing myself in alcohol, loudmusic, bodies touching and even the thought of having a fag. To fly away as one of my friend calls it.

Taiping, is where i grew up. A small town with not much to brag about besides our pride and joy the tulip growing Maxwell Hill, once tin mining Lake Gardens along with few other firsts. Still i think about it all the time, i guess it's because 17 years of my life was spent there.

Those 17 years were just memories of what was. I never felt like i belonged there. Eventhough i mixed around, i often feel alienated by the way we might look at something or had interest over. Like a love that was not meant to be.
But the comfort of familiar surroundings prompts me to think about it, well off course its my home.

When meeting new people, the famed introductory question, Where are you from? is often heard. I am not malu because i come from this little town located at a foothill. I'm darn proud of it actually to be a towngirl to represent Taiping, not many can say that. But often the conversation goes like this

I say, "Malaysia"
friend says, "Oh kl?"
"Nah, i'm a smalltown girl.. at perak, know?"
"Perak ... hm i know ipoh"
"yaya, smaller and one hour away from ipoh"
"oo.."
(it gets worser trying to explain it to an international friend)

I would be abit ticked after that, knowing that their perception would have changed slightly. Taiping does not represent me, i don't know me, i don't know where i belong(yet) ... i just don't know.

Today i was down, i texted my friend "When i need you and your fags you're back home =(".

There are times when i'm pushed into situations like for example when i'm back at malaysia, i get called as being one of 'them' or 'aussified' since i am destined to live here. So we're different, real fact is we are already different the moment i met you.

Some goes to me, when i am here. You don't expect me to announce that OH, I feel so Australian around Australian citizens?. When i was at Tasmania, i found myself saying how Melbournes transport, water system and etc was better than theirs as if it were my home.
The feeling of not belonging anywhere. super.

There's so much more than studying and graduating. So much more.
I'm determined to find out what and where i am supposed to be.

Info for all

*Lala in china means Lesbian =D.

les+ or 'les jia' or 'les family' is a free magazine for off course lesbians.
It costs like USD1000+ permonth for them to print and distribute.

Wonder wher they get their funds from.

Now i will give out a quiet laugh whenever someone says, "Oh my god, she dresses so lala".
HAHA.
why?.
nothing~
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*I sort of support TIBET now.

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*Geoengineering. the new light in combating global warming!.

Shooting rockets filled with sulphur oxide into the clouds(most prob the mesosphere) where it then creates rain. so cool.... it absorbs and also reflects light back to space. They learnt this from nature itself when Mt.Pinatubo(2nd largest eruption if im not wrong) blew.

The force was so massive that it blew its 500metre peak off and shot sulphur oxide 20+miles into the stratospere. It rained after that, acid rain off course ... but shockingly it lowered temperatures by half a celcius.

The last time the US tried to experiment with this LONG TIME AGO, they were forced to stop because people were saying that they were planning to manipulate the weather as a war strategy to win the Vietnam war =_=.

ability to control/manipulate the weather if this is not cool i don't know what is.
yes im boring you.
i'll stop now.

God?

You know those moments when you think god is trying to speak to you through signs, bilboards and shit. I think pei hwa tried to speak to me. LOL.

was walking round the kitchen looking for food and talking on the phone and suddenly i noticed phwa (thats how i spell her name).

Koreana BBQ

New Koreana BBQ restaurant.

The 'new' is seriously part of their shop's name o-o.
Was quite good, the best was their bugolgi.
Had the beef bulgogi, pork belly and spicy pork. oo also recommended their seafood pancakes which i thought the batter tasted abit like fried nangka.
Only reason we decided to go there was when i went to ikea with ...


zoey


and jessica which i haven't seen for quite some time.

saw the shop while on the tram. Googled 'Koreana' and 'richmond' and found out it had some good reviews. And it did live up to the expectations that we had about it.
You know what's shocking is that she bbq-ed the food for us.
Maybe im just being 'sakai' but lol she just stood there flipping our meat for us, sometimes there was akward silence cause we would be staring at her flipping the meat.

I then said, "omg, this must be so pressureing to cook in front of people".
and i tried to ask her, "So ... ahaa you do this to every other customer as well? like cook for every table?".
she didn't understand what i said -_-, she was too korean.
then i repeated the question again but now with added hand gestures and she said yes, yes!.
can you imagine if the whole shop was full.

Recently, have a few things to complain about.

One is that, i don't expect people to be whoever they are. Like my mom for example, i don't look at her as the mother figure the majority of us see. I see her as just a person that got me my meals, my attractive toys and taught me some life skills when i lived with her. I guess no connection or other people say lack of it.

Why?, because ... just because. lets leave it that way.

Sometimes i wonder, how she had given birth to me. I guess she knew it too when people use to say how gessie and I don't look much like my parents. So what i am trying to say is that, blah.. i wish blogger could private posts, all i just want is to get it out of my mind. Its hard for people to understand and also they give bad responses =_= that might just worsen my state.

I don't know how to relieve myself at situations like this. I'm not 'emo-ey', im more like 'emo-ing', like how normal teens should be. Those 'emo' people that annoy other people are those on drugs or have too much girly hormones.

Second, is that i miss home -abit. Don't get me wrong i love being back. But i thought hmm -_- being home equals being busy and being busy is not exactly fun when i just want to relax. Off course, i can don't do anything and easily achieve that.

Still, its my brain that i wish i could control or program it like Java ;D. Anyway, i will have this urge to fill up all my time with activities which might include picking up gessie, going out for yam-chas and to accompany my parents. I guess its more like picking up the stuff i left behind and when i leave i throw it all on the ground again (which sucks). Also, i have to plan out everything like trips and when i am at KL for example i also plan all my activities. I mean i don't want that.

I don't want that feeling =_=. It sucks. I don't want a so called 'planned-relaxing day', instead its more stressful for me. When i'm back i feel like there's this GINORMOUS clock in my head counting down the moment i set foot on malaysian grounds and this clock is a digital clock with its seconds constantly changing. This is what keeps me up at night when i'm back, not wanting to waste every minute by sleeping.
I suck =-=, no my brain sucks.

if only there's someone who can understand what i mean or someone i could relate to. Actualy, im longing for that moment.


someones definitely going to complain that i wrote a bloody essay* again. lol. muaha.

*i'm not one for words which is why this can be considered quite alot.

Big vending machine

tzup and funny expression

i think its sorta big o-o and weird. Saw it a richmond with tzup and fui han. damn long didn't see each other already. happy ;D

got an external hard drive today.
u know, i saw one that is USB 2.0 (boo), firewire (yay) and is eSATA .. but 1TB bah =-=.
too much.

pissed off.

Dan Murphy's

Dan Murphy's at Qv.

First time entering ... .
Always went to Safeway Liquorland instead.
But, here omg -_-. so big.
so many of these isles.

I feel like such a noob inside there. spoiled for choice.
and its like, a sat night and there were quite alot of people, all busy choosing their drinks.

Obviously 95% of them are buying alcohol for the sake of binging.
So i can't help but see all these bottles as being unhealthy. =-=.
Again this is just an opinion coming from a girl that can barely even drink.
But still, drinking over the recommended intake and risking self of blackouts and brain damage isn't that wise either.

burnt hand today. dangit =-=.
right hand below knuckle of pointer finger. size : 5cents.
was baking, hit metal tray quite hard.

only noticed it when bathing, water flow through freaking hurts ok.
i thought it was a blueblack at first and went press press it -_-.
Anyway, result. I wasn't as clean as i am supposed to be usualy after bathing.

now the skin is like shrivlled, dying i guess ~_~. hopefully no scar.

Greens I

me busy taking those sunrise shots.
stood there for 15minutes looking at the sun until it got blinding.
Woke up so early 730am. Well for me its rare and wrong considering that i was also having my holidays at that time.
But still i manage to wake up wor ;D.


Bought their local juice before tour started.


Apparently they grow and export alot of apples. Even managed to penetrate through the Japan market.


Even apples growers have to constantly change the type of apples they grow. Last time people wanted big huge apples and currently people want small apples that can easily fit into a lunchbox.


This was as close to a tasmanian devil i got to.
I saw dead ones on the roadside though ;D. and wallabies as well.




i was pretty obsessed with this heater


damn cold, i wasn't the only one there.


"BIG TREE", 400 years old. Scary looking. They aren't allowed to cut down tree's taller than 80feet in order to maintain habitat. Saving an eagle species as well forgot the name Two tailed something -_- dang, which can grow up to 6feet.


Left normal tree, right "Big Tree"


actualy 400 isn't really that old. I wana go to the amazon and see 2000 year old ones!.

City

Decided to walk round the city that night. Was well in my opinion pretty dead. More horrid than Melbourne, i mean after Tas ... i missed Melbourne alot eh @@.

Couldn't pass the time =-=. Somehow time moved slower there ... (8)~, guess the city is just small so couldn't walk that much. It had the brands and all but just :\? Ulu.

The streets were dead at 8, it felt like 11 and i actually felt scared to walk lor =_=. Also, there weren't alot of asians there unlike Melbourne sorta 50% 50%. So its not suprising to get some stares at the locals.

After that night, i didn't goto the city anymore. Rather go to the gym or swim at the hotel. Or retire in room watching nickalodeon and tennis. But if u bypass the city, tas is a great place to get away from it all. No reception outside the city air so freaking fresh air with scenic views. I loved that i don't get to inhale any second hand smoke.


I saw yoshi and uh lead to wanting it.


After 5 attempts Double Jackpot!



Watched Kung Fu Panda. yeah sorta late. =-=. But you know melbourne worser will only be out tomorrow the 26th. You know what i want to watch? Zohan. I laughed like mad at the part when he said " FEET UPPERCUT ".


so cute and green. look at him posing. oh the mario i just left it in the hotel room, didn't take it back. no space. I have a teacher that looks and sounds like mario with a moustache and all. cept his name is Osama. Osama Dondash something.

-Wrest Point Hotel @ Hobart-



walked into hotel room only to find this gasping view. We got the Double + single Harbour View room o-o? i think its called that. for 150$ a night.


Harbour at afternoonish.


Selamat pagi =D
i saw the sun rise. so pretty hor.
everything is so perfect just need yang


felt like it was more of canada or scotland.


only wished that the lochness monster would suddenly appear.
I'm quite a believer in the lochness, bigfoot and yeti monsters (that they might exist). I use to read books about them. im sick huh. just to pass the time.


still morning


evening


and night, fullmoon. took it the night before left while walking at the harbour. freakishly cold.

To tell you the truth. We had no plans or bookings at all when we reached Hobart. Just ideas and perceptions we had of the place through books and the internet.

Sorta risky eh?, either sink or swim. doom. But i love that feeling <3.

Anyway, chose hotel and checked in. Stupidly figured out their public transport. With lotsa help from locals on places to visit. Booked tours through the hotel.

Did lotsa comparing on prices.

Didn't end up going to Launceston, last minute decision to stay at Hobart. Bought new flight tickets back.

Dinner on Spirit- Seasons

RAWR. so ugly looking hey this angle. but was the clearest.
Green stuff are avocados my favs, with leaves sprouting out.


atlantic salmon, imo better than pacific on bed of salad.
Got the mid part, had one or two bones but it was good.
My whole trip i just had salmon ... crazy jor o-o. was quite cheap there.
I'm a big fan of seafood, mostly just fish or crustaceans (eg crab, shrimp, lobster).


For dessert, apple crumble. Plate nicely decorated with custard and jam with cream on the side.


*i was still fine when i drank till here*

Ordered a bottle of Ninth Island Pinot Noir, recommended to go with my salmon o-o.
Its Tasmania's local white wine.


but i died here.
now you know how lousy i am.
i was so red ... . i coudln't walk properly =.= cause the boat was swaying as well. But i did not fall.

After dinner went to watch a movie at the theatre that i ended up sleeping in.
Halfway through the movie, i decided head to bed ... this case its recliner.
But couldn't sleep. Head was screaming in pain and throbbing.


Boarded bus to Hobart, a 3hour ride 48$ one way. and i was expecting 20 =-=.
Was so foggy in the morning, could see layer of mist on the fields. Was very calming, it lasted about an hour or so.

What i saw were many horses, sheeps and cows.
If it were a nintendo game i would be saying Horsesz, SheepZz and coWz.
You would get it if you knew some of the nintendo games -.-.
I love it that its very green here, unlike mainland which is more dry and brown.

To Tas we go

tasmania spirit I, got off at port melbourne on tram 109. Vehicles were already queing up to get inside.


Well, don't think i would want to experience it again?. Abit waste of my time.
Once is enough. Plus i got seasick with the help of some alcohol.


after 11 hours i still look sane to take this picture.
Sleep for me that night was SO bad. head throbbing.
I guess those who get seasick easily take the cabins.


off we go at 27knots!
which is equivalent to a cool 50 kmph! ;D WHO KNEW!
=_____=



bye bye melbournie. i missed it.

astronaut



I love to DANCE YO~

Everybody call me ASTRONAUT*

..adapted from Namie Amuro's WHAT A FEELING..